Dating and intimate partner violence are genuine concerns, especially among teens. Just under 20% of teenagers have experienced physical or sexual violence from a dating partner. These events can be dangerous and traumatizing for victims of any age, leaving physical and emotional scars that can last for years or even decades.
Dating violence can be deeply unsettling, making victims afraid and uncertain of what they should do. In this fragile state, their physical and emotional well-being are at risk. Taking the proper steps after an act of dating violence can be instrumental to receiving the help and support you need.
Prioritize Your Physical Safety
If you’re a victim of an act of dating violence, your most important and immediate concern should be to get to safety. Putting physical distance between yourself and your attacker allows you to consider your next moves and take further action to protect yourself. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to accomplishing this vital step.
If at all possible, take stock of your situation and resources and look for a way to do the following:
- Ask trusted friends or relatives for help
- Prevent yourself from being further victimized
- Reach a place of safety where your attacker can’t find or access you
- Surround yourself with other people who can help protect you
- Obtain emergency medical services
Surviving the attack and avoiding further harm is critical. If you fear that your life may be in danger, call 911 immediately or have someone else do it for you.
Seek Medical Attention For Your Injuries
Once you’ve escaped your attacker, go to the nearest hospital emergency room or urgent care center. There, you can have any injuries you’ve sustained evaluated and start treatment as quickly as possible to minimize the risk of long-term complications.
This step is crucial if you:
- Were struck on the head
- Lost consciousness
- Were choked, strangled, or suffocated
- Were sexually assaulted or raped
You’ll likely have to provide information about your ordeal to hospital staff so that they can accurately diagnose and treat you. Do your best to relate the incident in as much detail as possible. If you’re a minor or vulnerable adult or have been injured by certain weapons, your attending physician may be obligated to report your injuries to local or state law enforcement.
File a Police Report
There are numerous reasons why someone may resist going to the police and reporting an attack, including fear, shame, and an erroneous belief that they somehow “deserved” their abusive treatment. Others may fear further victimization or worry about the consequences their attacker would face if they reported the crime.
However, making a report of intimate partner violence that results in injury is the right thing to do. For one thing, calling 911 or visiting your nearest police station can be an effective way to escape a dangerous situation. Your attacker is unlikely to follow you into a police station or continue to harass you while law enforcement is present.
Additionally, a police report may contain information for a prosecutor to consider, potentially leading them to file criminal charges against your attacker. It can also strengthen a civil injury lawsuit by documenting the incident.
Even if you don’t intend to take legal action, your report could be helpful if some other person suffers injuries at the hands of your attacker. If you sustain further injuries from the same person, having a documented history of abuse can make prosecuting them easier.
Finally, your local police will be able to assist you in separating yourself from your abuser. They might do this by arresting your attacker, giving you time to reach a safe place. Alternatively, some law enforcement agencies will transport victims of dating violence to shelters where they can rest and regroup in a safe place.
The law can’t compel a competent adult to file a police report concerning a physical or sexual assault. However, taking this step is beneficial for more reasons than just having your abuser arrested.
Create a Long-Term Safety Plan
As the immediate crisis of your attack passes, it’s important to think about your long-term safety.
This means considering whether you should:
- Return to your home, especially if your attacker knows where you live
- Add extra locks, alarms, or security measures to your home
- Ask a trusted friend or family member to stay with you
- Change your routine to reduce your likelihood of being stalked
- Change your cell phone number, social media profiles, and other contact methods
- Seek a restraining order
As you formulate a safety plan, you should also consider what you would do if you happened to run into the person who attacked you in public. Rehearsing the steps you would follow, the people you would call, and where you would go for help ahead of time can help you take swift and decisive action in an emergency and avoid further harm.
Don’t Neglect Your Mental Health
Just as a dating violence incident can leave you with physical injuries that require treatment, it’s possible to suffer mental trauma, too.
These unseen injuries can manifest as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, insomnia, and other conditions. Even if you’re never victimized again, failing to address your mental state can negatively affect your quality of life moving forward.
Contact a qualified therapist or counselor to help you process your thoughts and emotions. Depending on where you live, there may be programs that can connect you with a counselor at little or no cost. Therapy can help you cope with difficult feelings, process your trauma in healthy ways, and avoid similar situations and people in the future.
You Can Survive Dating Violence
Being attacked by a dating or intimate partner doesn’t mean you must remain a victim forever. Prioritizing your short- and long-term safety and healing can help you make it through your ordeal and emerge a stronger and more resilient person. While your immediate safety is paramount, there’s more to surviving dating violence than merely existing.