Teen dating violence is an alarming problem that affects a surprising number of young people. While many programs and resources are available for adults, it’s not always clear that they can help teenagers as well. Because of this, teens tend to feel vulnerable and don’t always know where to go for help.

Teenagers who find themselves in such a situation have several options to address and prevent violence from their partners. Knowing about the different forms of dating violence and your legal options can empower you or someone you care about to do what’s necessary to protect themselves.

What Is Teen Dating Violence?

Teen dating violence refers to a pattern of abusive behavior by one teenage partner toward the other in a dating situation. Much like the abuse adults face in similar situations, violence can manifest in several ways.

Physical Violence

Abuse is generally most visible in its physical form. Most people know that hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, biting, and hair-pulling are red flags for abusive behavior. However, there are other ways for someone to physically hurt the person they claim to care about that aren’t quite so obvious.

It’s not uncommon for an abuser to use rough handling, scalding or burning, corporal punishments, and restraint to control their partner. They might also go out of their way to make someone uncomfortable (leaving a window open on a cold night, for example) or force them into isolation or confinement.

Some abusers prefer tactics that make it difficult for outsiders to figure out what’s going on. They might not allow their partner to eat or, on the opposite extreme, force them to overeat. They may even withhold life-saving medication or over-medicate their partners to put their health in danger.

Emotional and Psychological Violence

Some abusers prefer to manipulate their partners by toying with their emotions or psychological state. This approach is much more devious; sometimes, the victim doesn’t even realize it’s going on until another person points it out.

Some of the more common forms of emotional and psychological abuse include:

• Social isolation
• Taking away the victim’s car keys or phone
• Ignoring the victim when they need help
• Criticizing the victim’s choices and opinions
• Ignoring the victim’s privacy
• Cyberbullying
• Belittling and patronizing behavior

Emotional and psychological abuse often takes the form of threats and intimidation. With humiliation, coercion, harassment, and verbal abuse, the abuser leaves you afraid to stand up for yourself or ask for help.

Once you’re emotionally dependent on them, your partner may threaten to leave if you do something they don’t like. Since you likely feel like you can’t rely on anyone else, you might change your behavior so that the abuser doesn’t go through with their threat.

Sexual Violence

Sexual abuse is never about the act itself. It’s about asserting control over another person in the most demeaning way possible. Besides rape and sexual assault, abuse can also include inappropriate touching, indecent exposure, harassment, and even suggestive looking, teasing, and innuendo.

Anytime you feel coerced or forced into sexual activity that you didn’t consent to, it’s considered sexual abuse. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean the other person is entitled to your body whenever they want it. You’re not required to give them anything you don’t feel comfortable with.

On the flip side, a narcissist might withhold sex as a form of emotional or psychological abuse. But rather than being rooted in poor self-esteem or simply enforcing personal boundaries, they do it to manipulate and get what they want from you. When they do agree to sexual intimacy, they might criticize or shame you for your performance.

The Impacts of Teen Dating Violence

The effects of teen dating violence can be profound and last a long time. 

A young person’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being can take a major hit in a number of ways, including:

• Low self-esteem
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Physical injuries
• Social isolation

The aftermath of abuse can carry over into adulthood and affect future relationships and overall quality of life. Victims and those around them need to take teen dating violence seriously and take steps to address it.

The Role of Schools and Communities

Schools and communities play a big part in recognizing, addressing, and preventing teen dating violence. By encouraging positivity and putting preventive measures in place, they can help teens recognize the signs of abuse before it gets out of control and give them somewhere to turn if it happens to them.

Several strategies have proven effective toward reaching this goal. School programs, peer support groups, community outreach, and easy access to counseling all help foster a safe environment where young people feel empowered to get the support they need to get out of abusive relationships.

Potential Legal Options If You’re a Teen Dating Violence Victim

If you or someone you know is experiencing teen dating violence, tell a trusted adult, whether it’s a parent, teacher, or school counselor. They can offer emotional support and help you figure out how to protect yourself. They’ll also help you take any legal steps necessary to get out of your abusive relationship. 

Depending on your situation, this might involve:

• Protective Orders: The court can order your abuser to stay away from you and your home, school, or workplace
• Criminal Charges: In cases that involve criminal behavior, the abuser could face criminal charges and penalties, including jail time
• Juvenile Court: If the abuser is a minor, a juvenile court may take over the case and order your partner to participate in programs designed to prevent further incidents
• Family Law: Parents or guardians may need intervention from the family court to make changes to custody arrangements or put other protective measures in place

Whatever your situation, your safety and well-being is paramount. For this reason, you and your parents might consider talking to a domestic violence lawyer who focuses on cases involving minors.

Overcome the Stigma and Break the Cycle of Violence

Teen dating violence is a serious issue that demands immediate attention and action. By taking a stand against it, it’s possible to foster a safer and healthier environment that allows all young people to thrive in their relationships and grow into strong adults.